Greyhound Intelligence is not an oxymoron...

Someone sent me a link to a blog today that describes a dog who may be part greyhound as stupid.  This person gave her dog an IQ test that her dog then failed, miserably.  The test parameters?  Could the dog sit?  Do stairs? Find it's way out from under a blanket? Come when called?  Who makes up these tests?  Not someone who has a greyhound as most greyhounds would probably fail a test like this.  Not because they can't do these things, but because they don't feel the need to prove that they can do them!  In my books, that sounds like high intelligence instead of stupidity.

Greyhounds CAN sit.  They just don't like to.  Well, most of them don't like to.  First of all, it isn't comfortable for them because of their muscular hips, and because they usually can't do it gracefully.  Believe me when I say being graceful (except when asleep) is a higher priority for a greyhound than pleasing the human. Awesome was my sitter.  Of course he was food motivated.  Human food motivated.  He might sit for a dog cookie, IF they hadn't had any in a couple of days, but if you had a banana, he would try to sit in your lap.  Bananas were his all time favorite food. And because he had a potassium deficiency, he got them nearly every day.  We could not say or spell banana in his presence as he would then immediately sit at your feet and look around expectantly until the banana was produced and he got to eat the entire thing himself.  Bananas were not for sharing or for other greyhounds.  They were his.  And since he's been gone, we haven't even had bananas in the house.

Greyhounds CAN do stairs.  If they have to.  If they are motivated enough.  When we first moved here, Pixie proved that.  We have very steep stairs to our attic (finished, and one day I hope, it will be the master suite).  The cat boxes were up there.   She could get up them, but because they were so steep, she could not see where the next step down was, so she would NOT come down them. She LOVES cat cookies, so her motivation to go up was high.  The humans were downstairs, and she couldn't figure out how to get down, so we had to practically carry her down.  She then decided that this was a cool game.  In the middle of the night.  Go upstairs, eat cat cookies, then sit at the top of the stairs and give the Greyhound Scream of Death until the humans came up and carried her down.  Neither Steve or I are capable of carrying a greyhound down stairs, even a small one of only 50 lbs.  Especially down very steep stairs that we could fall down just as easily without trying to carry a greyhound down!  So our solution was to cut a cat sized hole in the bottom of the attic door so that the cats could go up and the greyhounds couldn't.  It worked pretty well.  The cats had a safe place to go to get away from the greyhounds when they wanted peace and quiet, and we could keep the greyhounds out of the cat food and the cat litter boxes.  Of course, Sunny STILL tries to stick her head thru the cat door to reach the cat's food bowl that sits on the steps just a few stairs up.  The number of times I have caught that 12 year old stuck with her head through the cat door and her nose wedged in such a way that she can't get back out... not a case of intelligence or the lack there of, but of motivation. 

Greyhounds CAN get out from under a blanket, but why would they want to?  They can be quite warm and content under a blanket, and will stay there unless there is something much more interesting going on outside of the blanket... Like a visiting dog or a cat giving the cat equivalent of the Greyhound Scream of Death.  Just a question of motivation.

As for coming when called.  That depends on what you are calling them for.  Around here, calling a specific greyhound by name is usually only resorted to if said greyhound is in TROUBLE.  Why come for the opportunity of getting punished?  Especially when the greyhound does not view the offending action as something BAD.  (eating yard cookies is only a BAD thing to humans.  Greyhounds find this behavior most enjoyable).  Again, Sunny the 12 year old is the main offender.  Any time she can manage to get outside without her muzzle and associated poop cup (to keep her from eating poop) on, she can and WILL eat yard cookies.  Even frozen ones (or she will bring them back in with her in the hopes of getting to enjoy them when they thaw).  I can call her til I'm blue in the face to get her to come in when she's enjoying a backyard snack, but she won't come until she has determined that she has had enough.  The only way to circumvent this activity is to make sure her muzzle is securely in place BEFORE she goes outside.  Trying to go GET her back in doesn't work very well because even at 12 years old and with very wobbly legs, she is still faster than the resident humans and the yard is pretty big.  Besides, we have this tendency to try to circumnavigate the yard AROUND the remaining yard cookies (the yard is too big and we have have too many greyhounds to make cleaning up the poop remotely feasible), and well, she doesn't.

I would offer a different sort of IQ test for greyhounds.  Can they figure out a new way to get on the couch or bed when it is already full of greyhounds or other obstacles (humans, books, pillows, knitting projects, mouse traps)?  Can they convince the human to do whatever it is they want the human to do for them just by employing the Greyhound Scream of Death?  Can they find a way thru a very tiny hole in the gate/fence/door/window to get out and run around the neighborhood?  Can they find a fresh loaf of bread in one of 20 grocery bags brought in the house on shopping day, grab only that bag and race around the house, returning in under 3 seconds with the empty bag and bread wrapper and not a crumb anywhere?  and can they tell the difference between the human's commands to know when not coming when called is going to end VERY BADLY for the greyhound in question?  Of course, then they can and will come, with a look of utter helplessness and total affection and abject atonement on their face all at the same time.  This look is guaranteed to get the human to cave in and forgive said greyhound, even if he has just eaten the entire brand new skein of very expensive and rare bison yarn that was intended for a present for someone special...