Somedays I get so frustrated. Today is one. It has been nearly 7 months since I had my Judicial Review of my Disability case with the Law Judge. We STILL have no decision. I wonder if my case has gotten lost in the system, if they sent it to my old address and the law firm I worked with in Florida or if the Judge died. I call my current lawyer every week, and they have no new information either. Because they are representing me, I am not supposed to contact the SSA directly to see if it somehow got lost in the system. They tell me that there is no way something like sending it to the wrong place could happen, but let's face it, this is a government agency we are dealing with. In most government agencies, FUBAR is a standard operating procedure, so why should we assume that the SSA is any different?
It's hard being patient when it's your life that is on hold. I can't have any of the tests the Dr wants done unitl and if I get approved for disability because we just don't have the resources to pay for MRIs and other like procedures. We also are barely making ends meet financially, so getting the additional income or at least knowing that we need to start the process over again is becoming increasingly necessary. I am tired of living hand to mouth, and while we won't be getting any astronomical amounts from SSD, it should at least make things a bit more comfortable. Heck, just having medical coverage would be a major savings.
But all we can do is wait. I have never been a patient person, and this is really a challenge for me. I try to keep my mind occupied on other things, like my knitting and the critters, but even there the fact that the disability case hasn't been decided is an extra burden. I'd like to be able to buy yarn for myself once in a while, and I'd really love to be able to get some flea protection for the animals, but those things cost money that we just don't have. Keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table are the 2 highest priorities, and all else is extra stuff. See why this is frustrating?
But just because we are struggling does not mean we are looking for handouts from friends and family. We are adults, and we do not expect others to help us out when we should be able to help ourselves. Comp is looking into finding a part time job, partly for financial reasons, but also so he can have a break from his chronically depressed wife (and the not knowing what's next doesn't help the depression any either). I can't say as I blame him, there are days when I want to get away from her too (how does one get away from themselves and stay sane?). Today is one of those days. It's a vicious cycle.
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